Luckily, I first experienced golf at a young, impressionable age, and I was able to go through many woes that would seem redeemable. However, when I am the golf course, I can tell that not everyone had the same fortunate experience I had. Here are some pointers that can help you in your adult life begin your golf journey in a graceful fashion:

1. The contrast of a temper tantrum thrown by a child versus an adult is stark. Golf is a game, even at the most professional of levels. It is a game that challenges your logic, and especially your emotions, but you can’t let them get the better of you. To harness the childish tantrums, you need simple, effective mechanisms. Try this: If you sense you are going to lose control, maybe due to a poor shot, unfortunate bounce, etc… simply pick up your ball and do not play it until you feel like you want to have fun again. It could be once you walk onto the green, or the next tee box. Do whatever you need to do to have fun!!
2. Lower your expectations. Golf is about learning how to “take what you can get” and accepting the result. No one wants to play with someone who is constantly expecting the perfect result, that’s unrealistic.
3. Watch other golfers. Get as much intel as you can from observation. It is okay to ask your partners about the rules, or what you should do in a given scenario. It is not okay to be judgemental or critical of something you know nothing about.
4. To help avoid looking like a total newbie, here’s some quick terminology:
   • Clubhouse: The nerve center of a golf course. Oftentimes it is the largest structure on the property.
   • Pro Shop: A retail area within the clubhouse that is run by the golf course’s head pro. This is generally where you would pay for your round.
   • Driving Range: A place where you can practice your longer shots, typically it has yardage markers and is a big rectangular grassy area.
   • Putting Green/Chipping Area: A place to practice your short range shots. Sometimes they will be two distinct places, sometimes they will be one and the same. Look for any signs for how to use properly.
   • Pace of Play: The rate at which you play golf relating to time. A good analogy is an interstate with a minimum speed limit. Do not go to slow, do not hit your ball into people. A good point of reference is 10 minutes per hole. It is okay to pass if someone lets you, alternatively it is okay to let someone pass.
   • Tee time: This is the time you/your group are expected to be ready to play on the first tee box. You can schedule this ahead of time by either calling the golf course, using an online portal (typically located on the golf course’s website), or by making it in person in the pro shop.
   • Greens Fees: The cost to play a round of golf. There are generally other fees associated with this depending on the types of amenities you select.
   • Starter: This is an employee who you must speak to before going to the first tee box. As humans do typically arrive early, or late, they are responsible for controlling the pace of play. As you would speak to the maître d’ of an established restaurant, they essentially serve the same function for the golf course.
   • Ranger: These are the course’s sentinels. They enforce the policies and procedures of the golf course during play. They communicate with the starter to help with pace of play. Typically, they ride around on golf carts and have an uncanny ability to make you shoot your worst shot.
5. Be mindful of other golfers, whether they are in your group or not. First off, you should be friendly in all confrontations, there is no reason to be mad or upset at another person just trying to relax on a Saturday. What I am really referencing is to be mindful of player safety, and having some understanding of golf etiquette. You should know many of these before stepping on a course, so here are some examples:
   • First off, the golden rule. Do not do anything that you wouldn’t want to happen to you. This is paramount in many aspects of life, golf is no exclusion.
   • Do not distract players while they are in “the box”. The box is a fictitious area that surrounds their golf ball. When a player enters this area, do not speak, make sudden movements until they have struck their ball. It is the worst taboo to talk in someone’s back swing.
   • It is considered proper etiquette to let the person furthest away from the hole hit next, this allows players to maintain a level a safety by always keeping at eye a golf ball in flight.
   • That being said, make sure no one is in harms way of your golf ball. I have seen golf balls travel at a perpendicular angle from the striking position. New players do not have very much control, nor do they truly know their own strength. Make sure the player(s) in the group in front of you are clearly out of harms way before teeing off, and away from the green before hitting an approach shot.
   • If at any time you think a ball will land in the vicinity of another player, you must yell “FORE!!”, with gusto. Error on the side of caution with this; be liberal. Accidents happen, but do what you must to prevent them.
   • On the flip side, if you here someone yell “FORE!!”, your first instinct should not be to look in that direction, but instead to cover your head with your hands and get low.
   • When on the putting surface. Do not walk on someone’s line. There is an imaginary pathway from each players ball to the hole, and it is considered rude to step on that pathway. Best practice is to walk on the outside of these pathways.
   • If your ball is on someones line, you will need to mark it with a ball marker. A flat coin is a perfect ball marker.
   • Never ever move another players ball, unless they specify (and even if they do, ask them). It happens all to often where a player will lag a putt near the hole, say within 3 feet, and a playing partner will say “That’s good.” and hit/give the ball back to the player. This is poor etiquette when playing with randoms, as they may want to play every shot, and they have every right to get what they paid for.
6. At some point, you will hit your golf ball into a place it’s not supposed to be. These places are called penalty areas, or the out-of-bounds area (OB). When you look these rules up on how to move forward with round after you enter one these, they have an intimidating nomenclature, but they are quite simple:
   • Penalty areas (color coded by use of ground stakes or paint):
     • From Red areas (almost all water is this), you can drop your ball laterally from the spot it crossed into the area, use two driver lengths from the spot and make sure it’s not closer to the hole. Or, you can take the same spot your original ball crossed in, and line that up with the hole, and you can drop anywhere directly on that line as long as its behind where it went in. Or, you can re-hit the original shot. Any one of these will add one stroke at the end of the whole called a penalty stroke.
     • From yellow areas, all of the same rules apply, except you cannot take lateral relief.
   • Out-of-Bounds, or Lost Ball (white stakes or paint):
     • This one is a little goofy, and a lot of amateurs play these at Red penalty areas, which is totally OK if you are playing for fun (which, as a beginner, you hopefully are).
     • If you want to keep track of an official handicap one day, you’ll need to use these rules:
       • You can re-hit the shot from the original spot, adding one stroke to your score. Example: A tee shot goes into an out of bounds area. You opt to re-hit the a second ball off the tee, except this will be considered your 3rd shot, not 2nd.
       • If you draw a line from where your ball crossed out of bounds/was lost, to the nearest section of fairway that isn’t closer to the hole, plus to club lengths on either side, you can drop your ball anywhere behind that. This, however, will cost you 2 penalty strokes.
         

There are a bazillion intimidating rules, and practices when one first enters the golf universe, but it becomes background noise pretty quick. Ultimately, the only real rules are those about safety, mindfulness, and respecting the golf course property. I will leave you with one last piece of advice, one that you will likely hear multiple times your first year: We’ve all been there.